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Here you are, over 50, and in that curious position of dating again...and
hating it. Reluctantly, you try Internet dating (only because you have
heard others have met there) and find it different, odd, and not
at all satisfying because your efforts have not been rewarded. There
dwell younger men who write "I love older women" (full
of bull, of course; they're just fooling around); or married men;
or men who lure women with sex talk (never respond to those lechers!);
or, men whose ads you've answered and you never hear from (which
you will not do again).
Stop! Hold it! Listen, dear single sisters. I am about to improve
your Internet dating technique, your approach, and your success. There is a method
to this madness of wonderful, successful, attractive, experienced
older women finding love and romance on the web (or anywhere else,
actually).
I have had the experience, done the research, and listened to
the experiences of hundreds of single sisters who have enjoyed
success (and failure) on this very same Internet dating adventure. So, listen
up and learn some different maneuvering for online dating that,
perhaps, you've not even thought of before.
Gorgeous grandma style
What is "gorgeous grandma style?" A single Gorgeous Grandma
(GG) is any woman of 50+ years who believe she has her whole life
ahead of her -- not behind her. She's a sophisticated, worldly,
wise, attractive, and experienced woman who offers tremendous
value to any man who is smart enough to recognize her appeal.
For the most part, she outperforms her younger sisters in every
way, be it brains, sensuality, or life experience.
So, when a Gorgeous Grandma, who is a dynamite package of self-esteem
and confidence, enters the online dating world to find a loving
companion with whom to share her years ahead, she approaches the
task with a totally different image and attitude than her younger
counterparts.
How does she behave online? Just like this:
- A GG does not reply to profiles. I don't care if he
is a twin of Paul Newman's. Replying to a profile is the same
as a phone call. GGs do not phone men or reply to their profiles
-- especially strangers. It's no challenge for a man when a
woman initiates any meeting. Let the man be the pursuer. Initiating
a meeting or calling him is the same as asking him out. It is
a definite no-no.
- A GG creates a delightfully short, breezy profile where
she writes, "interested in meeting new people," and does not
write "seeking long-term relationship" or "loving companion."
She sounds light and casual, not intense because it scares men
away. She creates an attractive screen name that gives a good
sense of her identity: "IloveGolf;" "CuteBrunette;" "TennisBabe;"
nothing describing body parts or sexual.
- She posts only one photo (more than one signals "desperate."
A GG is never desperate!). She makes it her most attractive
and, if necessary, has it done professionally. At the very least,
she wears no sunglasses or mega jewelry. She is not without
makeup. She has combed her hair. (I don't believe how some women
portray themselves online -- no wonder they have no takers.)
- She reviews her responses and eliminates the creeps
-- the 16-year olds who are fooling around; the married men;
the nerds; anyone who sounds strange; anyone who writes about
sex.
- She waits 24 hours before she answers a man's first
email. She does not believe an interested man should be paid
attention to right away. She plays hard to get -- from the very
beginning. She gives the impression (true or not) that she has
a very busy life and that this Internet venture takes a back
seat to her real life.
- As she emails her responses, she maintains a logbook
to keep track of those who are sincere and those who are too
cute. She checks screen names for undesirables. She checks for
form letters ... which she dumps. She also dumps emails with
no words and emails from time wasters.
- GGs never chase men. If she does not receive a response
after her first email, she doesn't send a second one.
- GGs always request a photo of the man. If he doesn't
send one, she deletes him. He's probably married or has a girlfriend.
- Computer dating is best divided into: online meeting;
clicking into private rooms; telephone calls; the real meeting.
GGs will not take too long with their online friendships. Online
conversations can move quickly from general topics to intimate
ones. A GG's goal is to meet in person.
- If a man does not suggest getting together after a
week or two online, she drops him. She is too busy to waste
her precious time on game players.
- A GG does not respond to continuing emails right away.
She waits an hour or two because she is a busy woman. When emailing
a man, she always keeps her conversations short and light.
- GGs do not answer emails on Fridays and Saturdays after
5:00 p.m. She may, or may not, log on to her computer on Sunday
evenings.
- A GG does exchange Instant Messages with strangers.
She disables it if she is online Friday or Saturday nights.
- A GG places her profile online for two or three months
at a time. If the responses dwindle, she removes her photo and
profile and takes a breather. She rewrites her profile (with
the help of family and friends, if need be), posts a different
photo, and returns online for another few months.
- Always mindful of safety, a GG remembers to:
- Not believe everything she reads.
- Not respond to lewd or crude messages.
- Not to give out her Social Security number, home phone
number, credit card number, or password.
- Not reveal too much about her personal life. The medium
lends itself to talking about details -- personal feelings,
family matters, hobbies. By the time she meets him, she may
feel she knows him, but, of course, she doesn't.
- Always give him her cell phone number, not her home
phone number.
- Trust her instincts. If the person seems odd, she ceases
all correspondence and changes her screen name.
My final word: the secret to any GG's success is persistence, online
and off. Do try it.
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