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Five Breakup Signs: How to Tell When You're About to Get the Boot

By Elina Furman
Special to Yahoo! Personals

Elina Furman One day, you are madly in love. You're cuddling on the couch, reading love poems and feeding each other sushi. And that's when it happens: Your partner sits you down for the "It's-Not-You, It's-Me" talk. You're confused and left wondering, "How could I have missed the signs?"

Breaking up is never easy. Your ego and heart are bound to get bruised. But if you could see the breakup coming, it might make the whole business easier to stomach. While hindsight is 20/20, there are always warning signals along the way.

Here are the top five signs you're about to get dumped.

1. Picking fights. No one is saying you have to get along 24/7. After all, constructive conflict can actually be good for your relationship. But if you find that your partner has become argumentative over petty issues like your clothes or choice of restaurant, that should serve as a warning sign that he/she may be looking for an excuse to bail.

2. Forgetting to call. Used to be that your phone would ring all day long with your sweetie wanting to make plans or calling just to say, "I love you." And while long, drawn-out conversations may have made you swoon before, now your significant other doesn't even call when he/she is running three hours late. It may seem obvious, but going from speed dial to a blocked number is a sure sign that your relationship may be nearing its expiration date.

A major change in appearance can be a sign that your partner is looking toward greener pastures.

3. Changing their stripes. While we all like to tinker with our looks every now and then, a major change in appearance can be a sign that your partner is looking toward greener pastures. Whether they've chopped off all their hair, lost 40 pounds or gone from a bold brunette to a sultry blonde, major cosmetic changes should be noted. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a little vain, but if the change is accompanied by any of the other signs listed here, you may need to get ready to go solo.

4. Criticizing. Let's face it, no one is perfect. Sometimes we wish our partner could be taller, funnier, more considerate – the list goes on. But when we're in love, we take the good with the bad. The imperfections can even be endearing, provided there's a lot of love to go around. Of course, if your sweetie isn't feeling you anymore, don't be surprised if he/she becomes less tolerant of everything, from how you brush your teeth to how you tie your shoes. So while a few complaints here and there may be par for the course, constant criticism is a telltale sign that your days as a twosome are numbered.

5. Losing sexual interest. A healthy sex life can make or break a relationship. If you find that your partner is becoming more sexually aloof, you need to get to the root of the issue. While it's natural to have less sex as you settle into a comfortable groove together, waiting weeks or months to have sexual contact is a sign that something is amiss.

Now that you know the warning signs, don't panic. Not everything he/she does should be interpreted as a meaningful sign. Just because your partner exhibits some of these behaviors, that doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is over. In fact, it's usually a combination of signs and not one isolated incident that foreshadows a breakup.

If you're worried that your partner is itching to get out, the most important thing you can do is sit down and discuss your issues in an honest and open manner. If you take these signs as your cue to improve communication, your relationship may just have a fighting chance.


Kiss and RunRelationship and life-skills expert Elina Furman is the author of "Kiss and Run: The Single, Picky, and Indecisive Girl's Guide to Overcoming Her Fear of Commitment." She has written and cowritten more than 20 books and has appeared on more than 100 national and local television and radio shows, including The Today Show, Good Morning America and The Early Show. Her books have been featured in Time, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Newsweek, USA Today and Fortune. She is online kissrunbook.com.

Elina Furman photo by Linda Rowe

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