Readers react: Man-friendly profiles

Readers reacted strongly to Steve Nakamoto's suggestions about creating a man-friendly profile. To represent the widest range of responses, we've edited these responses and tried not to blunt the points made by the writers. Anyone -- man or woman -- with questions about creating a good profile and posting a great picture will find answers here.

General Comments

God, aren't we over this kind of sexist crap? -- Kali

Very good advice, too bad the men are not reading it! -- Nancy

Sure looks count for something, but intelligence and personality are way more important to me - I'm not looking for some short-term fling, I'm seeking the last Great Love of My Life, and I'd much rather meet a woman with average looks and above-average intelligence than a woman who's a gorgeous airhead. -- Kenny

Men need to be a little more courageous and look for what might be right rather than wrong. -- Kimberly

First impressions are sometimes the only chance that you ever get. When you are creating your profile, one key word, sentence, or less-than-great photo can make the difference between an instant "yes" and an instant "no." If you really want to get results from this highly productive endeavor, it is worth your while to do it the right way. -- TMH

Here are a woman's 10 leading dating concerns: Am I too fat for him?
- I'm not much for the outdoors but he is...
- His two-liner profile doesn't give me much to go by
- I wonder how many girls he's been with before
- He doesn't have many goals
- He doesn't seem very serious about his future
- He'll easily get bored with me
- He's too goal-oriented
- He can't relate to my world
- He probably won't like me so why bother? -- Leslee

Men, don't try to sweep her off her feet on a first meeting because: (A) It costs an arm and a leg, (B) It rarely works, and (C) The women it works on are usually bad news. -- Mark

Don't expect a fancy dinner or the guy to cover the bill on the first meeting. Online meetings are not dates, they are screenings to decide if you want to actually go on a date with this person. Don't expect them to pay when it is not even a date. -- Terra

I would rather scare away a hundred spineless men who just want someone bland and inoffensive (as Nakamoto suggests) in order to find one who's up to the task. If I'm quirky and loud and funny, why would I not say so? The whole point of a profile is to show a slice of who you are, in order to attract someone who appreciates it, not to attract a bunch of people who won't. -- Lisanne

Regarding the how to "catch" a man book -- please, that old notion that a man has to be caught just makes it seem as though women are not worthy of being "caught" themselves. Relationships are mutual. -- Kathryn

Three things that will turn on 90 percent of the male population: (1) Show up, (2) Breathe, and (3) Show a glimmer of interest. -- Mark

Mostly, men who just want A Woman...any woman, one whose purpose is to be an ornament, an accoutrement. There are women who are insecure enough to get into those relationships, but as easy as they are to find, why go online for it? Women who are looking at personals are in search of the spectacular. We are Juliets looking for Romeos. Why should we a) lie about it, and b) settle for less? If the men reading our profiles aren't able to cope, they should log off and go watch sports on TV. -- Lisanne

Look at the relationship choices you have made in the past if your Internet dating; chances are the choices you made were in a word lousy! If you chose the guy with tape on his horn rim glasses who was president of the math and chess club in high school instead of the guy with the '69 Camaro, tattoos and pack of unfiltered Camels rolled up in the sleeve of his tee shirt, you might not be divorced with three kids and the D.A. chasing the guy for back child support. Own up to the fact that you may have crappy judgment, date outside the box, it may surprise you when a man opens a door for you rather than asks you to hold up the hood of his car, but go with it! -- Mark

Profiles

Prior to composing the profile, the writer establish clearly in his or her mind the objective behind the profile. To wit: is the profile writer attempting to attract one particular type of person, or any number of various types of people. These two scenarios call for drastically different slants in the profile. The principles you set forth are all more or less valid for writing the profile with mass appeal. In writing my own profile, I committed every sin mentioned in your list of ten "leading dating concerns." In so doing, it was my theory that the type of person I am not seeking will be eliminated from the picture instantaneously. -- Sandy

If every guy walks on the beach as they say, surely the beach would be very busy! I go there often and I have it to myself. Also, they should give this connection thing at least two dates. Besides, how can they tell the girls are gold on first meeting? -- CelticTiger

I look for someone who sounds like they are relatively stable, and friendly. One who has a good balance of friends, both male and female, and plenty of activities that interest him. One who spells correctly and uses decent grammar. -- Cindy

I don't think women like me wanna get a nibble from every Tom, Dick, and Moron out there! Personally, I get really tired of answering IMs from people I have nothing in common with who are way below my intelligence level! I believe too much information is way better than too little. I think if a woman knows what she wants, as I do, then there's no point in trying to get anything when you want one specific thing. -- Chrissy

Your profile is the first line of communication you have with someone. Don't you think that you should put serious thought and careful planning in it? Not to mention reading it over before you post it to check for spelling accuracy or grammatical mistakes. I read this email three times to be sure it said what I wanted it to say, and that it was grammatically correct. It doesn't take long but you look so much better for having done it. -- Lisa

Watch the typing and spelling. I won't even look at a profile that has more than a few misspelled words. -- Heather

Don't use the paragraph about yourself and what you want to air all of your complaints! In what reality is it ok to sit down with a date to dinner and immediately launch into a rampage. (For example: "I'm sick of Barbies. Gold-diggers. Non-motivated and or uneducated women who just want sugar daddies. No games. No drama…") You wouldn't do it on a first date (unless you wanted it to be your last), so don't do it online. -- Terra

I think if you really want good results you should be honest about who you are. If he does not like it then he really should not respond to the profile. I know first impressions are important but if you can't impress someone with who you really are why bother. -- Gisela

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