About Dating & Relationships > Will You Get Lucky?

How lucky do you think you are? Do you expect good fortune in your life? Or do you think "Unlucky at Love" is your middle name? Your attitude toward luck can have a big impact on the success of your love life.

Answer these questions below to get a measure of your lucky-in-love quotient:

1. Can you describe in crystal-clear detail the life you want with a Sweetheart?
Yes    No    Sort of   

2. Do you like routines and keeping a schedule that doesn't vary?
Yes    No    Sometimes   

3. Do you know absolutely what you need in a mate and what are deal-breakers?
Yes    No    Sort of   

4. Do you believe or say statements like "There are no good men out there" or "All women are interested in is money"?
Yes    No    Sometimes   

5. Do you actively search out new experiences, people, and opportunities?
Yes    No    Sometimes   

6. Do you think of yourself as unlucky at love?
Yes    No    Sort of   

7. Do you keep contact with your friends and meet new friends through them?
Yes    No    Sometimes   

8. Do you remember and go over the negative or scary things that have happened in your life?
Yes    No    Sometimes   

9. Do you expect good things to happen?
Yes    No    Sometimes   

10. Do you often find yourself worrying about what bad thing is going to happen next?
Yes    No    Sometimes   

11. Do you look for the lesson in bad luck so you can prevent it from happening again?
Yes    No    Sometimes   

12. Do you tend to "get into a rut" or have difficulty finding new solutions to solve problems?t
Yes    No    Sometimes   

13. Do you keep track of your good luck and remind yourself of your lucky experiences?
Yes    No    Sometimes   

14. Do your hunches about people usually turn out to be correct?
Yes    No    Sometimes   

to calculate your score.

Your score:

How to interpret your score

Scoring Key 1. Yes (2)   No (0)   Sort of (1) 2. Yes (0)   No (2)   Sometimes (1) 3. Yes (2)   No (0)   Sort of (1) 4. Yes (0)   No (2)   Sometimes (1) 5. Yes (2)   No (0)   Sometimes (1) 6. Yes (0)   No (2)   Sort of (1) 7. Yes (2)   No (0)   Sometimes (1) 8. Yes (0)   No (2)   Sometimes (1) 9. Yes (2)   No (0)   Sometimes (1) 10. Yes (0)   No (2)   Sometimes (1) 11. Yes (2)   No (0)   Sometimes (1) 12. Yes (0)   No (2)   Sometimes (1) 13. Yes (2)   No (0)   Sometimes (1) 14. Yes (2)   No (0)   Sometimes (1)

26-28 Overall, your optimism, openness, and flexibility work well. You probably see yourself as quite lucky and you draw good luck to you.

20-25 Generally, your attitudes and behaviors are positive and support good luck, but occasionally you get discouraged and lapse into negative thinking or actions. You usually feel fortunate and perhaps even lucky.

15-19 You are a mixed bag when it comes to luck. Perhaps you don't believe in luck, or don't even think you care. You may not even label what happens to you as lucky or unlucky. You may not feel that you have much control over what happens, good or bad.

10-14 Negativity and rigidity can be problematic for you. You have a hard time getting and maintaining a positive attitude, and may often find yourself complaining about your bad luck.

0-9 Likely, you feel pretty discouraged about your chances of good fortune. In fact, you may feel like a "bad luck magnet." You probably feel as if you have no control over what happens to you, and perhaps that bad luck follows you like a cloud.

Want to get luckier?

Whether you wonder what luck has to do with finding your life partner, or you feel luck has everything to do with it, most people want to improve their good fortune as much as possible.

Dr. Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Herfordshire in Britain, got curious about why some people seem lucky and some don't. Wiseman found significant differences in the attitudes and behaviors of lucky and unlucky people.

I've combined Wiseman's Four Principles with what I know about how to find the love you want. My "Ten Days to Get Lucky at Love" takes you step-by-step to better luck. Try the good luck sampler below and see if you get luckier:

1. Maximize Chance Opportunities. Relax and notice what is going on around you. You might see some opportunities that you would not have noticed before. Be willing to take risks and venture outside your comfort zone.

To enhance your romantic luck, vary your routine and try new things. Train yourself to observe your surroundings, perhaps deciding to look for all the men who wear flannel shirts or all the women with their hair in ponytails. You might even follow up what you notice with a comment like "What a gorgeous plaid shirt. Where did you get it?" Or even better, "Did your wife pick it out for you?"

Above all, get out more. Take a cooking class. Go to a coffee shop to read the newspaper or catch up on your email. Walk the dog (if you don't have one, borrow a friendly one).

2. Listen to Your Lucky Hunches. Pay attention to your intuition; listen to those little thoughts that bubble up. Stay tuned for both positive and negative messages about the people around you, and factor those into your decision-making.

Try to interpret what people may be thinking or feeling by observing their body language and expressions. You might even copy their body posture and see how it makes you feel. Then comment or ask, "Gee, your shoulders look so tight. Are you worried about something?" and see if you are right. The ability to be "in tune" with others emotionally is very attractive. Your increased sensitivity could give you openings to get to know new people, or get to know old friends better.

3. Expect Good Fortune. Rather than expect that each new contact or date is going to be a disappointment, go into new experiences as if this one might "be the one." If it turns out not to be Mr. or Ms. Right, learn something important about yourself from the experience. Tell yourself that each contact that doesn't match up puts you one closer to the one that will.

Cultivate an "attitude of gratitude" that the wrongness of this match became quickly apparent so that you could move on. The last thing you want to do in your mate search is to waste time and energy.

4. Turn Bad Luck Into Good. Maybe that date that didn't work out could turn into something else. Would that guy/gal make a good friend? Could the two of you pool your resources and introduce each other to more singles? How about hosting an area get-together for those listed in your zip code on your dating site?

Maybe your date(s) could give you some feedback about how YOU are as a date. After all, even if the two of you are not a match, you are comrades in the search for love.

So much about luck has to do with attitude. If you expect to be lucky and look for luck to happen, you'll be ready to notice lucky opportunities. If you expect bad luck, that's what you'll see, too. Which would you rather be looking for? Which would you rather find?

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Romance coach and author Kathryn Lord met her now husband Drew online. Out of the dating world for years, Kathryn conquered her fears, found her perfect mate and built a solid relationship. She put what she has learned into writing in "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women". A psychotherapist, Kathryn has been helping singles and couples for more than 25 years. She is on the web at Find-a-Sweetheart.com.

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