What's ahead for romance and relationships in 2006?
Forget the supermarket tabloids with their wild predictions about romance and relationships during the year ahead among the red-carpet set. We asked social scientists, psychologists, dating coaches, veteran daters and other experts to predict the love trends in 2006 – trends that the rest of us might actually experience. Here's what they told us.
"Online dating, discussion forums and clubs have encouraged a better
understanding of what the opposite sex wants as well as how we feel, think and experience life," says Sheila Ellison. "With this in mind, I believe
that 2006 will bring more intimacy to those willing to interact with a
curious, open mind and heart." -- Ellison is the author of 10 books
including "The Courage to Love Again." Her website is SingleMomsConnect.com. You can also find her advice on Yahoo! Personals.
Barbara Bartlein, RN, MSW, sees several trends: "(1) People have rediscovered the value of relationships due to the natural tragedies that have occurred. (2) There is increasing interest in what makes long-term relationships work. Many states are now demanding that couples have premarital counseling. (3) Online dating continues to increase, especially with professionals. (4) Re-marriages will continue at a record pace for boomers who are divorced or widowed, due to extended lifespan. (5) Older people will increasingly turn to the Internet to meet potential partners as it is a more efficient way to meet people." -- Bartlein is a clinical psychotherapist and author of "Why Did I Marry You Anyway? 12.5 Strategies for a Happy Marriage." Subscribe to her free newsletter at ThePeoplePro.com.
"The latest U.S. Census reveals that unmarried households are becoming the country's new majority," says Dalma Heyn. "Some 87 million Americans are single, and young adults are waiting longer to marry and are quicker to divorce. Women initiate two-thirds of divorces. I predict not only stronger, more self-aware and self-confident single women but more relational, evolved men. Smart men know that being more involved, more present, and learning relationship skills are essential. Very simply, today's women are too busy to be able to handle the work of love all by themselves." -- Heyn is the author of "Drama Kings: The Men Who Drive Strong Women Crazy." She earned her MSW at NYU and has two earlier bestsellers. She is online at dalmaheyn.net.
"The quest for love has never been stronger," says Evan Marc Katz. "As a result, dating coaches and matchmakers gain traction in 2006. In addition, online dating sites galvanize to create more live events -- dinner parties, speed dating, cruises -- designed to increase customer interaction." -- Katz, founder of E-Cyrano.com, is a personal trainer for online daters who are looking for love. His site is evanmarckatz.com.
"Big Mama vs. Hollywood: Oprah interviewed a romance writer whose marriage to a man 23 years younger ended because he lost his passion for his wife," says Shawn David Jackson. "Haven’t we seen this plot advanced in a hundred different variations by actors in Hollywood movies (and off-screen as well)? Conversely, my grandma’s ('Big Mama’s') generation placed a higher value on commitment than passing emotions. In 2006, I see more singles in certain segments returning to traditional relationship values for the long-term benefits." --- Jackson is the author of "Dating Survival Guide." He has been teaching Christian living to adults and youth since the early '80s. Find him online at holiness.com. Also see his article on Yahoo! Personals, "How to get intimate with your date's soul."
"I predict that mobile devices will play a much more prominent role in
online dating,” says Andrea Miller. Furthermore, Kelly Bare predicts that “people will spend more time, energy and money on things than can help make their relationships as strong and fulfilling as possible, whether that means attending classes, reading magazine articles or books, or experimenting with new products in the bedroom. I'm not just talking about sex, but also about relating, communicating -- really letting your relationship blossom in every area. We're learning that while two people can do it alone, it's easier, wiser and more interesting to tap into the growing number of resources out there." -- Miller is founder and CEO and Bare is senior editor of Tango, the magazine about relationships. Find Tango online at tangomag.com.
"In 2006 singles who have clear relationship goals will benefit most," says Anna Zornosa. "While advice about New Year's resolutions can seem clichéd, there is evidence that having a clearly defined goal makes achieving progress more successful. So, what are you looking for? Someone to go to the movies with, or are you looking to get a monogrammed towel set in your near future? Whatever you seek, best wishes for a 2006 filled with love and laughter!" -- In November 2005 Zornosa became vice president and general manager of Yahoo! Personals.
"I'm seeing a trend toward relationship technology," says Tina Tessina, Ph.D. "There's a lot of new research that shows which factors really improve communication, connections and longevity. I get a lot of people who want to learn more about what makes relationships work. On the other hand, there is still a growing trend of people being reluctant to commit, marry or settle down until they're older -- the age of commitment keeps moving up. So, I'd say people want to wait until the last minute, and then have techniques that work. All the technology, video phones and the new iPod with video mean that people will be more visually in touch but less physically close. We're moving more and more away from each other, while pretending to be close." – Tina Tessina, a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in Long Beach, Calif., publishes the "Happiness Tips from Tina" e-letter, available at her website, tinatessina.com. You can also read her advice on Yahoo! Personals.
"Lust is nice, but love is the watchword for 2006 -- True Love," says Lissa Coffey. "Singles are looking for connection on a deeper level, so there's less small talk and more pre-screening of dates. Long-term relationship is the goal, and anything less is a waste of time." -- Coffey is the Relationship Barista at coffeytalk.com.
"Forget about finding ‘the one’ in 2006! Spend 2006 enjoying all the people you meet and date," says David Wygant. "Stop putting pressure on yourself and start having fun and learning about yourself through each date you go on. Follow those rules and you will find that you will naturally meet someone spectacular in 2006. One last thing in '06, online dating is cool, fun and a great way to build up your dating circle. Make 2006 your year to enjoy all the great things about dating. It is a journey of self-awareness that gives you a chance to meet someone who may just be the love that you are looking for." -- Wygant is online at dwdating.com. You can also read his advice on Yahoo! Personals.
"More love, all the time," says April Masini. "I predict that 2006 will see everyone getting hooked up to hook up, because technology and online dating will saturate our lives to the point where everyone from middle school to middle-aged to sexy seniors get to meet the love of their life -- or just their week." -- Nicknamed "the new millennium’s Dear Abby" by the media, Masini writes AskApril.com, an online dating and relationship magazine. Also, read her dating plan on Yahoo! Personals, "Become the date you would like to have."
"Singles are learning how to have great relationships from articles, books and workshops. They are engaging in helpful activities that teach them key communication skills and ways to observe one another's character, instead of just relying on 'magic,'" says Susanne M. Alexander, a relationship coach and author of "Can We Dance? Learning the Steps for a Fulfilling Relationship." Her site is marriagetransformation.com.
"You've heard of virtual reality and the virtual office; now get ready for the virtual date," says Jeff Cohen. "Busier than ever, singles will devote more time to online dating, IMs and email exchanges before agreeing to their first offline encounter. Virtual dating will weed out online dating mismatches, lead to better first dates, and dramatically improve the odds of a second date.
"Meanwhile, couples are spending months planning every detail of their weddings. Unfortunately, little time is devoted to planning their lives together. In 2006, couples will realize that a successful marriage requires more than a great wedding. Newlyweds will focus on their joint goals in career, family, religion, and other life categories." -- Cohen is the author of "The 30-Minute Guide to Online Dating" and is About.com's Guide to Dating and Relationships.
"For next year, people will be more open to divorce," says Sean Hinchey. "Even though it has lost much of its stigma due to celebrity divorces, most people will realize that it’s more important to be true to your personal happiness than to stay with a mate who doesn’t fulfill you. Online dating will continue to thrive as the 'safe pickup bar.' There is less time to socialize as successful people focus more on work and health. ‘If you aren’t busy, then you aren’t worth dating’ seems to be the trend. Online services cut through the awkwardness of the first couple of dates." -- Hinchey is the author of “Backpacking Through Divorce,” due to be published in spring 2006.
"For singles over age 50, 2006 will be the year of the flip-flop," says Tom Blake. "Older women will pursue younger men. Older men will pursue women their own age. Younger men will pursue older women. Everyone will search for love wherever they can find it -- under a rock, at the senior center, the golf ball driving range or at their local voting precinct. It's going to be a wild year!" -- Blake is the "Single Again" columnist for the Orange County (California) Register and author of "Finding Love After 50: How to Begin. Where to Go. What to Do." Look for him at findingloveafter50.com. Also, see his 50+ dating advice on Yahoo! Personals.
"As the economy sours due to fallout from Iraq, Katrina and Rita, brave dating men will segue from the coffee date to the 'fine dining date' and back to the 'let's just watch a DVD at your place' date a little sooner," says Aline P. Zoldbrod, Ph.D., a Boston-based sex therapist and relationship expert, online at SexSmart.com.
"Spiritual qualities are becoming more and more important in prospective mates," says Dawson Church, Ph.D. "More than yesterday's focus on psychological compatibility, dating in 2006 will emphasize shared spiritual values. A date is as likely to be meditating together, or sitting with a teacher, as going to the movies." -- Church is the editor of "Healing the Heart of the World" and is online at HealingBestSeller.com.
"By 2007, there will be more arranged marriages in Silicon Valley, California, than in Bangalore, India," says Marc Hebert. "The influx of young professionals in the Indian workforce has created a hormone buzz in the big cities of India and has caused parents to throw up their hands and cede responsibility for relationships to their uncontrollable young adults." -- Hebert is executive vice president of Sierra Atlantic, an enterprise application offshore outsourcer at sierraatlantic.com.
"Love is in the air and everything old is new again," says Shoshanna Rikon. "More of today's singles are going to continue to look for options to Internet dating by seeking out the services of dating experts and matchmakers. These days, having a dating consultant or professional matchmaker is the same as hiring a trainer, stylist or therapist. Today's matchmakers are a little bit of all of that." -- Rikon is a Jewish matchmaker and relationships expert in New York City. She's online at shoshannasmatches.com.
"2005 was the year of hurricanes and natural disasters," says Laura Bushnell. "Everyone’s life was stirred up. Marriages that had weak foundations were destroyed and swept into the sea of life. For 2006, those who were on the fence have made decisions to marry, and those who were alone will be truly ready to be loved. The level of intimacy requirement will be much higher than in the past. There will be a more compassionate dating base, so couples will be more forgiving and less judgmental but will require more honesty. Both men and women will want to meet their soul mates. They will want to know on the deepest level that this is the person who helps them fulfill their destiny." -- Bushnell is the author of the book "Life Magic." Her website is magicklady.com.
"The world is in turmoil, politics make us edgy, and global warming is adding to our worries about the world in which we live" says Michael Jonas. "All the more reason that the New Year will see people turn to each other for love and commitment and the comfort they bring. Our prediction: 2006 will be a banner year for romance and relationships." -- Barbara and Michael Jonas, named by People magazine as "One of America's Most Romantic Couples," are creators of the romantic game An Enchanting Evening and the dating game To Know You...Better. They're online at timefortwo.com. See their article, "10 Questions to slice through the ice" on Yahoo! Personals.
"We are going to see a real trend making it standard that online daters officially establish their identity on the Internet while also keeping anonymity," says Kathryn Lord. “We are already seeing sites pop up that appeal to the fears of singles (like one which does criminal background checks and prohibits married people from signing up) and another, where people can report positively or negatively, about the accuracy of a date's online presentation. Sites are also appearing that help you verify your own identity for others to see. Soon it will become as odd to see a profile without a verified identity as it now is to see a profile without a photo." -- Lord is a romance coach who wrote for Yahoo! Personals. Her site is Find-a-Sweetheart.com.
"As technology continues to advance, people will feel the need to connect more quickly and easily," says Lisa Altalida. "Singles will continue to look for dating convenience and time-saving solutions, so online dating, cell phone dating and text messaging through handhelds will become more prevalent for initial meetings and throughout their relationships." -- Altalida is an author, speaker and dating expert in the San Francisco (California) Bay Area. Find her dating tips and techniques at lisaaltalida.com.
"In view of the current infidelity epidemic, people will become more savvy about all types of infidelity (emotional infidelity, cyber infidelity, same-sex infidelity), the subtle signs of each and how to avoid being a victim," says Ruth Houston. "Out of necessity, people will learn to identify a person who's prone to infidelity (a potential cheater) before getting too deeply involved." -- Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the author of "Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs" and founder of InfidelityAdvice.com.
"Romance and respect -- gender respect -- will take a closer step to one another in 2006," says Bill Bradford. "Both sexes will realize that celebrating and embracing their differences generate more harmony and love and less friction than the constant struggle for superiority or control in the relationship." -- Bradford is CEO of Johnny Light, Inc., johnnylight.com.
"I have seen an ever-increasing trend of 30-something couples wanting to be in open relationships. That is, have their primary relationship and still be able to go outside the boundaries of monogamy," says Dr. Trina Read. "The most common open relationship would be 'swinging,' which was super popular in the 1970s and took a nosedive in the 1980s (due to AIDS and President Reagan). It has steadily been on the comeback (for example, one swinger establishment in Seattle has 60 to 100 new members sign up every month)." -- Read is a sexologist, sex columnist and international speaker.
"Based on a report released by the National Center for Health Statistics, births to unmarried women in their 20s and 30s are up 4 percent from last year," says Melissa Koss. "While people still long to find mates, they see less of a need to be in a legally bound marriage." -- Koss is relationship columnist for Luminomagazine.com.
"Expect to see divorce rates increase in ’06," say Scott Weston and Bob Nachshin. "With the country’s mounting deficit, interest rates on the rise, and financial stress caused by the war in Iraq, Katrina and other issues plaguing the Bush administration, the economy is due to take a big hit and affect the pocketbooks of all Americans. When money is scarce, couples fight over it. The battle over finances remains the number-one cause of divorce.” -- Celebrity divorce attorneys Scott Weston and Bob Nachshin practice in West Los Angeles.
"Online dating isn't enough anymore for 2006's singles. They're ready to get closer to their prospective dates, and new technology is letting them do it," say Gemini and Scorpio. "Video chat, IM and phone dating are just the beginning. We predict iPod dating, featuring an exclusive singles' iPod, tricked out with dating tech like instant IM, a profile seeker and an auto-alert whenever you're in range of a single with a playlist that matches yours. Onscreen display: Two blocks south, age 23, male, 78 percent matching playlist. Currently listening to Air, ‘Mike Mills.’ IM?" -- Gemini and Scorpio are co-founders of geminiandscorpio.com, a creative, funky single's guide to online dating, and the creators of a series of wild New York parties.
"Singles will be making faster connections in 2006 as online dating merges with cell phones," says Liz Kelly. "Along with sending more text messages, singles will view video greetings and search for profiles anytime, anywhere from their cell phones." -- Kelly is a Los Angeles-based dating coach and author of "SMART Man Hunting." Her site is smartmanhunting.com. On Yahoo! Personals, see her New Year's dating plan.
"There are many things that will shift in 2006" says Karen Sherman, Ph.D. "1) Couples will start to focus more on relationship skills than only planning the big day. 2) Couples who are together for many years and don't want to go the way of divorce will be actively seeking to learn more ways to revitalize their relationship so that they don't feel stuck in a hum-drum existence. 3) There will be more programs available to the military to help their relationships survive the trauma of having been to war." -- Sherman, a relationship expert and professor of psychology, is the author of "Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, Make It Last." She is online at drkarensherman.com.
"I have bad news and good news," says David Steele, M.A. "The bad news is that, while singles continue to desire committed relationships, the trend is increasingly for cohabitation to replace dating. Fearing failure and wanting to minimize risk, singles seem to believe that living together is a safe next step in a relationship, but the failure rate of cohabitation is twice that of marriage, so they are actually increasing their risk.
"The good news is that I believe singles are more than ready for a paradigm shift. They know what they're doing isn't working well, but don't know what else to do. They want to be happy, but don't know how. Singles are ready for new approaches that are compatible with the strong research data now available on what works and what doesn't for dating and mating in today's world.
"2006 could just be the year of the "tipping point" for dramatically changing how singles date and mate." -- Steele is the founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute and a pioneer in working with singles. He is the author of "Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of your Life in Today's World." He is online at consciousdating.com/.
"Senior singles will continue to find certain online dating services the best way to meet and mate," says Alice Solomon. "Online dating offers unlimited possibilities. Becoming more selective about which services to join will be the big change in 2006." -- Solomon is a columnist, radio host and author of "Find the Love of Your Life After 50!" Find her at GorgeousGrandma.com. Also read her Yahoo! Personals article, "Internet dating, gorgeous grandma style."
"I think that 2006 will see even greater numbers of people looking to find love for the longer term. There will be a slight shift from looking for passion to finding a love that will last," says Steve Nakamoto. "Also, 2006 should see couples starting to take more responsibility for marriages. While the tabloids are filled with celebrity breakups, this awareness may cause people to look at more ways to make sure that their relationships don't end up on the rocks."
As to the societal trends that will affect relationships, Nakamoto predicts, "We will continue to see women making bigger progress in the business world. They will become more the financial equal of their male partners. This should bring up the issue of whether a man can handle dating a woman who is more successful than him. Some couples will adjust and do fine, but others may not.
"Online dating is becoming more mainstream and more reliable with the use of free compatibility testing offered by some sites. For many people, online dating will become at least one of their major ways to meet eligible singles. With widespread broadband Internet service, people can quickly do online searches of dating prospects with multiple photos. Some of the more reliable online dating companies provide more safety for serious adults to find eligible singles in their age groups." -- Nakamoto is an online dating advisor and the author of “Men Are Like Fish” and the newly released “Dating Rocks!” Find him at MenAreLikeFish.com. Also, see his article, "How to create a man-friendly personal profile," on Yahoo! Personals.
-- Compiled by Rad Dewey, Yahoo! Personals
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